Lessons From My Mother

As I get older, I'm finally beginning to see my mum in a new light.

I'm seeing her as more than 'my mother'. I'm finally seeing her as a woman, with hopes and dreams and desires. This might have something to do with the fact that I'm becoming more like her each day, but that's a conversation for another day.

I think as children, from birth we're programmed to look to our mother for guidance and comfort, and so we place her in a box, she becomes a caregiver first and foremost and most times she stays there till the end. She never stops being that.

So I've actually been paying attention to my mum, her likes, her dislikes, her feelings, her habits. And here are 5 lessons I have learnt from my mother.

Prayer - I have seen strange things happen when my mother prays. She is always up before the sun rises. A lot of the time I wake up to the sound of her voice praying, and as I got older, seeing how much importance she placed on prayer made me take an interest, the fact that she believed in it so much without any reservation made me think as a teenager that there must be something to this Christianity thing after all. The first time I saw my mother as a vulnerable woman was in the middle of a prayer and my introduction to the power of prayer was also from my mother. As I began to emulate her habit I found that I was slowly creating a stronger connection between myself and God.

Sacrifice - If I could count how many things my mum has denied herself for my sake I would be the greatest mathematician on earth. So I'm not even going to try.

But I have learnt that on this journey called life I will have to make many sacrifices, for my future self, my career, my family, my husband, my children, but most importantly I have learnt to be graceful and to hold on to my joy through it.

Loving unconditionally - There is no greater test of love than to love those that don't return it. Being a mother is a thankless job, it is taken for granted because children have a sense of entitlement to a mother's love and care. But too often, they don't show appreciation. I have learnt from my mother to keep ploughing on, don't do anything for the thank you's. Do it because it makes a difference.

Communicating your feelings - My mum is VERY vocal to me, she doesn't hold back (If my mum is silent, there's wahala) when I was younger I used to translate this to nagging. We would clash because I would mentally pull back and sometimes that showed in my countenance and I would slowly start physically walking away, something she hates. I would wish she didn't always say what she was thinking. But now I've come to see it in a new light. The beauty of her saying what she thinks is that she doesn't hold any negative feelings in, once she says it, that's it.

This is a big lesson for me because I ALWAYS hold back, I don't know why or how it started but holding back has become a part of who I am and something I've been fighting to release over the last year.

The only time I completely express myself freely is when I write, and even at that, when at the height of emotion I stop myself from writing or write vaguely. But I'm learning from my mother to let it out, speak it, scream it, write it, whatever, just let it out.

Take Care Of Yourself - Next to me, my mum is a total babe. No seriously, she's giving me a run for my money. No kidding this woman is not going down without a fight, she doesn't look a day over 30. (meanwhile I'm slowly crawling toward it) My boyfriend teases me about my various beauty routines, but some of them I unconsciously picked up from my mum.

Getting older or becoming a mother doesn't mean you stop being a woman, and going through a tough time certainly doesn't mean you should stop being beautiful; and so you must always take care of yourself, don't let yourself go. And Moisturise damn it!

I've learnt these 5 things but I've also learnt a whole lot more. I've learnt that mistakes are OK, it's OK not to have answer to what next?.

I've learnt to create, to be useful, to tell my stories, to be a blessing, to read, to give even when I have nothing. To fight for what is mine and what I believe in, to look inwards for the answer, to always remember to say thank you, to protect my heart. And to Eat the damn cupcake.

Essentially I learnt how to love, live and to be the best version of me.

You have taught me that the lesson is never over and there is always more to learn, you have taught me to pick the BEST parts of you .

I love you. Happy Mothers Day