Solitude

I thrive on being busy, I love the fast pace of having so much to do. But between giving myself to my job, chasing my dreams, working on my business, serving in church, having a social life, trying to be a good christian, friend, daughter, sister and everything in between; I constantly find myself exhausted as a result of giving too much of myself. I go hard and then I crash just as hard, it's a vicious cycle.

I've come to realise that for me, it comes from a place of needing to feel useful, because in essence what is the purpose of anything that is not useful. This feeling has been a catalyst to a lot of the great decisions I've made, but it can also be a dangerous one, I often have to be very conscious and make sure not to measure my worth by how useful I am to people.

I have recently gone through a potentially life changing event , and as life changing events are wont to do, it's caused me to take stock and re-evaluate life in a bid to move forward in a healthy and positive way.

I've been reading, Truce: Healing after a disappointment and it's been enlightening to say the least.

At times we get lost, in the hustle, bustle and daily struggle we lose our sense of direction and find ourselves alone shifting in the wind. It's at this time that we need solitude. (At least I know I do)

The process may require us to be still and slow down our busy schedules so that we can focus on what is truly important. We need to be sure what we want next,. We need time to figure out how we want to feel about life.

Solitude isn't being antisocial. It's about taking the time to be good to ourselves. Sure iron sharpens iron. But sometimes, we need our space so that we can sharpen without cutting the people we care about.

Sometimes we need time alone to address and care for our wounds. We need time alone to recharge without anyone asking "why are you acting different?" It is not an act; it is that a restored spirit doesn't move the same as a hurt one did.

Solitude is a process that teaches us what to do with our time, gifts and love. When we know what to do with ourselves, we can make moves that helps us navigate life successfully.